Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts

Monday, March 18, 2013

March 1




So I am sitting at Beehive, and I notice a very familiar bottle on the shelf. A bottle I haven't seen in at least 20 years, but one that was always in our home growing up. It's Riga Balsam, and it was only available when someone traveled to Latvia and brought a present. We usually put in in coffee, like you do with cognac and brandy. And the crafty people would turn the bottle into a vase to gift.

So I tell all that to the barkeep, and he makes a lovely experimental drink with it. It tastes like the woods and the sea. Turns out he doesn't know why the bottle is there, he's never seen it before. We all learned something new that night, and I will definitely be back for a funky Riga Balsam again.



Monday, January 14, 2013

Jan 13. Yes, I know it was yesterday...

...but I was too busy watching the Golden Globes.  Behold, a true Bostonian emergency vase:


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Wed Joke on Thursday

It's easy to understand why some people drink. At least, each person can justify (or thinks they can, anyway) the reason for their alcoholism. Somebody drinks "to relax," another "for the taste," yet another "for a social lubricant." But can you explain why animals are driven to drink? For instance, take my parakeet (well, he is a bird, not an animal, but that doesn't bar him from being an alcoholic.)

So, the story.

About a year ago we've begun to notice some strange behaviour with our parakeet - he would chew up whatever fruit - apples, pears - very carefully, and then spit the flesh out into his water dish. He then would wait two-three days, until the dish fermented, and drink it all up, this "moonshine" of his. Then he'd get up onto his perch, and begin to "sing" so loudly, that people from neighboring HOUSES would come over to complain. His "singing" is evidently copied from some mating baboons, and cannot be easily described. His "normal" speech (which includes "hello," "idiot," "asshole," "bitch") is reserved for the sober times.

And don't even think about passing by his cage when he is drunk! He attacks everyone who passes by, and if you attempt to remove his "moonshine", you are risking losing a limb. His beak is on par with a vulture - he can snap a pencil in half easily. And a few days ago we've noticed he begun adding tree bark to his mixture - I guess he'll be making bathtub gin soon!

* * *

Ну почему пьют люди - вроде бы понятно. По крайней мере каждый может (или думает, что может) объяснить, почему он пьёт. У кого-то "релаксация", кому-то "вкусно", кто-то "штоб баб подпоить". А вот как объяснить алкоголизм среди животных? Например - мой попугай (птица - не животное, но это не мешает ему быть алкашом).

Короче, история.

Где-то с год назад мы стали замечать, что попугай ведёт себя странно - яблоки, груши и т. д. тщательно пережевывает и мякиш сбрасывает в поилку с водой. После сидит и ждёт несколько дней - пока не забурлит. И только когда бражка готова - начинает активно пить. Потом набырится, залезет на жёрдочку, и давай сцука голосить, да так, что люди из соседних ДОМОВ!!! жалуются. Причём крики скопированы наверное с каких-то бабуинов перед боем. Словами ("привет, придурок, сволочь, сука") он говорит тока когда трезвый. А во время запоя к нему лучше не подходить - злобно кидается на всех, кто мимо проходит, хорошо, клетка спасает. А уж в клетку руку засунуть, чтоб брагу забрать - вообще нереально. Дзюба у него такая, что орлы или ястребы отдыхают - карандаш перекусывает в одно движение. з. ы. А недавно заметили, что в брагу он кору и щепки стал добавлять - коньяк, гад, готовит.